Simplicity is not a norm. Words can only get you so far. And yet
the world believes that it can replace simplicity with complexity and
remain happy. But it is not so. The elegance of simplicity is that it
is singular in its emergence. It cannot be reduced to something it is
not. That, in and of itself, testifies to the concept of anti
fractality.
You'd think that the fractal is perfect.
But it isn't, otherwise the reality we live in would not be defined by
the anti fractal nature of human existence. For perfection must include
part of itself imperfection itself, otherwise the symmetry of
perfection is broken. It is a sort of strange thing to be considering,
but in order for everyone to understand what it is they must live within
a fractal as an anti-fractal. That is the nature of the world and our
experiences. The world and universe are fractals, but people aren't
fractals.
You might ask why. What the hell is an anti
fractal doing in the midst of divine perfection, nature's harmony?
Doing it's job creating images of itself everywhere, but hardly of it's
own choosing. Therein lies the mortal confusion at the heart of
everything we want to believe in that isn't real. Truth is unpopular
precisely because it reveals the anti fractal to be something that is
not fractal. This upsets the delicate balance of belief that says all
things must be perfect now. But that can't be either because to deny
imperfection is to deny choice.
There is no middle
ground between honor and dishonor either. You have to have both to have
a fractal. But if you have one without the other you are stuck in the
land of the anti fractal, a pattern in constant struggle between two
opposites that can never resolve their differences. Sound familiar? It
should, that is the whole story of human history and the whole of human
psychology dissolved down to a simple basic formula. Duality, the
ultimate nightmare of being caught up between two irreconcilable
perspectives. And the whole of the social system is designed to erase
and eliminate irreconcilable perspectives.
Hence was
born the thought police. They were necessary because everyone wants
what everyone wants. And everyone wants what they want to be wanted by
others. But the right to dishonor could not be erased from creation, so
division emerges between the choice of one and the choice of the
other. Forever separated by their differing paths a wound emerges
between souls that cannot be healed in time. That results in grief, the
unavoidable experience of bitterness caused by imperfection. So the
anti fractal is proven beyond a shadow of doubt internal to the
individual. It is here we live. The causality of our suffering
unerasable from our minds.
Dwelling on that
fragmentation of divinity is maddening. In place of finding a
perspective that honors everything we construct instead a temporary
solution. A wall is built between ourselves and the other. First it is
built internally through avoidance of the responsibility to listen. We
justify this by saying, the other is not us, and we have a right to
exist. And so it is, but forever leaving us in that place that is
momentarily self contained within the truth of our choices. We validate
our honor for ourselves. And so it is.
There aren't
enough words to really say what it is that is. Reality exists as a
state of flux between the things that are and things that aren't. But
we remain eternally vigilant only of our own state of being. This is
what prevents us from moving forwards. The eye of the I in the mind,
ever watchful, ever keenly observing our every move and creating an
endless list of labels for ourselves to drench ourselves in our own
dissatisfaction.
It seems inevitable. The process of
the wheel that turns within us reminding us of what we are and often as
much of what we aren't that isn't even real. It's a curiosity of nature
I suppose. But at the same time the wheel turns anyway. We are
inescapable. We are unavoidable. We are inevitable.
It
is because of this that we continue to exist. There is no escaping
that fact. Every morning we wake up confirms that indeed I am still
here and that I am still going forward. Writing doesn't really cut the
feeling anymore. There are no words for where we must all end up.
Connection exists only where it is received. That is a terrible truth
and yet we must bear it because that what honor is all about.
We
are equal in our division. We are not each other. We live in island
universes built of our choices, thoughts, feeling, notions, and self
chosen identities. What we create is a parcel of what we choose to
create. And there still really aren't enough words to describe what it
is that we will create. Everyone makes a difference that chooses to.
Motivation is that which is sought by everyone. And here we are again
needing that much more of it to go on.
Not for me
though. I don't need motivation. I am already here. I don't have any
illusions about what is necessary. I always have known. Can a person
or place exist that is not in conflict with itself? That is the great
question of our times. We all want to be singular, to have the answer
that will set us free to act. That is what everyone is asking for. The
anti fractal nature coming up against the fractal itself. I am, I act,
and I do. We all want to merge into a collective. We want to lose
ourselves in the fractal. It is madness, but the drive is there. It
keeps calling us. It keeps wanting us.
There are two
types of people in this world who choose to merge through intimacy. One
group merges with ideas, they become their thoughts of their own
choosing in their minds losing themselves in some form of illusion.
This is what births the state of ideology and results in ideological
formalism, the surrender of the self to a series of rules and concepts
that govern one's life as something outside one's self in order to make
one feel as though one matters. The vast majority are of this school of
thought. The other, more dangerous and risky idea is to merge with
another person or other people as they are. This results in the
bitterness of the fact that one way mergers don't work. Are we one
yet? They will asking that question for a long time.
But
because the ultimate merger is with other people, it is only the second
school of thought, the romantic school, that has any hope of surviving
as ideology is cold and ruthless. People
are people, but who is ready to live that way? Who is really ready to
surrender their hearts for someone else's dream of a better world. But,
then, what else do you got anyway? Nothing, you've got nothing.
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