I've written about some pretty amazing ideas on this blog over the
years. I just haven't felt inspired to write anymore in the recent
past. Maybe part of the reason why is that I had to take down some of
my most inspired fiction and metaphysical writing. Not all of it had
the answers to the real questions of how it goes together. I don't have
those answers. I wish I did.
There was a time I was
so certain of myself that I believed I had the God's truth for
everyone. I suppose some might consider such a position one of
arrogance. But I could argue anyone in circles over those questions.
My
main spiritual teacher and I have had a closer relationship since the
time I wrote a great deal partially inspired by what he taught and
definitely inspired in my confidence by my own interpretations of what
he taught. Since then I've found that most of those interpretations
were wrong. This moved me to question myself more fully.
One
important point around which the future argument lies and the present
conflict exists is the question of equality. My spiritual teacher
believes that any form of hierarchy is unjustified when looking at the
universe. Why, he reasons, would an all knowing spiritual power create
hierarchy in spiritual position? There is a strong argument to this.
Many of my metaphysical theories had hierarchy as the primary point in
them.
If there is no hierarchy then why are people
capable of achieving different feats? Is it something only of this
dimension? There is an argument to the nature vs. nurture side of this
equation that is more human than assuming in those who are born better
than the rest being special above and beyond this world. Even if they
can achieve great tasks in this world, it is done so at the loss of
something equally as great. Specialization requires no hierarchy to
justify.
That's when I ran out of ideas. To
perpetuate hierarchy further no long satisfied the reason for our
being. In addition I found myself in a very lonely place right now far
from friends and family (those few who are still alive). There is
nothing more sour to thinking than being alone having to survive.
Still
there is some hope that the consideration of astrology may offer some
solace to the world from myself. I still study it and have found some
reassurance from it at times. I am having the last of some hard
transits from Pluto and Saturn these next couple of months though Pluto
has peaked and is now waning. For those who believe in astrology, these
two planets do exactly what you expect them to when you get these
transits.
Life goes on. I've lost alot over the
recent years. I still have myself, my health, and most of my sanity.
That's good I think. I ran out of ideas though. I can only follow what
my main spiritual teacher teaches now. One day soon you'll be hearing
about it by the hope of it. It is our only hope for knowing ourselves
as complete human beings.
